We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
