They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
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