We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize