So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
