all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
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