she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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