since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
