The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Randomize
