the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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