So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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