He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
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