Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
I've blown a few things in my day
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
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