I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
of course. lets lasso hookers.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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