Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize