Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize
