I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Randomize
