he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
That's when you crack a 10am beer
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
