Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Hippo gnu deer
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Randomize
