Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
And then the night went full on bisexual.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Randomize
