omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
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