i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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