he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
