I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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