My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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