My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Go christen that room with your naked body.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
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