He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Randomize
