Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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