This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
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