i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Randomize
