the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
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