Tell her she can't have a vagina
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
