Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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