I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
