I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Randomize
