Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
