I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
I wish there were birth control emojis
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Randomize