i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Randomize
