I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
Everything about him screamed your future.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Randomize
