Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize
