I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
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