I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
no you cant smoke seaweed
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Randomize
