Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Randomize
