In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
