Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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