I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I'm jealous of your bromance
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Randomize
