bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Randomize
