remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
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