i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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