oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
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