Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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