i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
