he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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