im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
