"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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