Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
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