another moral hangover. fuck.
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize