if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
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