I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
