is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Randomize
