ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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