Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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