its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
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