I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
