you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
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