You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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