Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
i was born a porn star she said
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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