is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
