is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
