remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
